Second Marriage Problems and the psychology of remarriage
In the modern world, remarriage has become a norm. In many countries of the world, almost half of people have married at least twice. And every year thousands of women and men in families experience many problems in remarriages, especially if the new family has minor children from their first marriage with one of the spouses.
And much more difficulties arise in cases where the husband and wife have common children, and they continue to raise children in the family left over from their first marriage.
Often there are such situations that all children from different marriages live together, but at the same time, they constantly move from the mother’s family to the father’s family and vice versa. And in this case, it becomes much more difficult to build relationships between all family members, and adults and children. But there are much more problems in remarriages for those spouses who underestimated the complexity of parental functions and thoughtlessly that their marriage would be without difficulties.
When a man and a woman create a new family, there will be more conflicts between them if the structure of this family becomes more complex. For example, an independent, financially secure man and woman who depend on him, having entered into a second marriage, may well create a happy family. But, if in this family there is a child from the first marriage, then the woman in the family finds herself in a difficult position. In this case, it is difficult to avoid conflicts in the family.
In general, a lot of problems in remarriages arise from our expectations, which we place on the new family and on how we should feel for each other in a new family. People tend to hold tight to their dreams for their new families, in which, in their opinion, they will have warmth, comfort and family happiness. In this case, they risk facing a completely different reality, which will dispel all their dreams.
If you are going to remarry, then for sure you want the best way to establish your new relationship and create a happy marriage. You probably thought that you had sufficient experience of past family life and, therefore, there will be no problems in the second marriage. And, therefore, it is not necessary to compromise and overcome difficulties. But life, in any case, does not happen without difficulties that need to be overcome and without tasks that need to be solved and all the illusions about this will disappear very soon. Therefore, it is necessary to come out of the captivity of illusions and strive to establish harmony in the new family.
Lack of harmony in the family can lead to treason and family functions will be impaired. Often, in new families, with children from their first marriage, a woman can be tormented by contradictions between the desire to satisfy the needs of her husband and the need to devote time to her children. After all, the creation of a family breaks old regimes and introduces new requirements and new rules of behavior. And very often this causes protest from the child and, often, from one of the spouses.
While the man and the woman are only meeting and have not yet burdened themselves with family responsibilities, they are not aware of the difficulties that they will face in living together. And after entering into a second marriage, it may turn out that children are not so friendly to their mother’s or father’s elect.
So it turns out that often a man and a woman fall in love and get married, and as a result, it all turns against them. And almost always the problems of remarriage, related to the distribution of responsibilities in the family and relationships within the family, are fully revealed only when a full-fledged family life begins. This happens because there is not just a young family being created, when a young man and a girl marry for the first time and create their own family. Here is a completely different case, because in fact, two different families merge together. After all, judge for yourself, it is much easier for two people to get used to each other and build relationships, and for several people from two families it is much more difficult to do this.
Relationships between members of different families can be exacerbated if there are financial difficulties or other external problems in the family. And here we need to remember that a family is a team that plays for one common result, and not a collection of individual players who play each for themselves and by their own rules, and this is one of the secrets of family happiness. And if the husband and wife are always open for dialogue with each other and will act as a united front against all external difficulties, then they will have much less problems in remarriage. in the end, for this, the family is created to solve external problems, and not to create additional difficulties for each other.